The Lost (cont)

Deep wells of emotions lie burrowed inside. I find a way to fight it back most of the time, but sometimes I can’t keep up the fight. Holidays and birthdays are forever linked to our memories of past experiences and there’s no way to avoid it on these days. I give in, I cave, I wail a torrential storm of pain and loss. I honor the memory and keep you alive. Regardless of where you are, you are always with me. If not but for any other time, than when I sleep. Then, in my dreams, I have you there with me. We will always visit in the land of imaginary and that must be comforting enough. There is no other way.

Happy Bday Brother, if you’re still out there…

The Lost

I wonder why I feel this way when everything around me appears to be ok, but the simple fact that you are not with me makes this world a dreary place. My heart tells me there is something horribly wrong with the world that I cannot seem to face, but the only thing that’s missing is you. The only thing I cry so desperately for, is you. The only reason, the only thing.. that darkens my day and creates anguishing rain.. is your absense in my life, your voice I no longer hear, the words you used to calm me, to remove my doubt and fear.

Happy Birthday Dad.. I miss you terribly