August 22, 2009 at 9:38 pm (Freedom, Inspiration, Life)
In my dreams I glean a bit; enough to entice, but that is it.
In my head the well is full and dry and dwell I do, somewhere in between.
In my heart; encased and limited, tinges shock through; threatening to replace, threatening to erase.
Sensical? I think not. Practical? Not a thought. Screaming? Not to hear. Dreaming? Controlled and clear.
April 7, 2009 at 1:30 am (Inspiration, Life, Nature, Rambling)
Flowing through, moving fluidly, the ocean and skies scream at me. They tell me of the horrors they’ve witnessed to themselves and the other innocents. They tell me in great wailing laments that ring in my ears and tear in my eyes. I find myself crying for the heartless and soulless that die.
For you and I have dealt them with much disrespect; selfishly with disregard for those lacking heart or soul, we have begun to tear down all that is old. Older than us and before the beginning of time, these heartless and soulless beings were alive and thriving.
Peace, serenity, unity in a perfect circle of life. Before the pain and destruction began and these ancients were denied of their home. Driven to receed and die; begin to fade away. The memory of the way things were and how they could not stay, echo from those that are still here.
The ones still living, though heartless, have fear.
April 7, 2009 at 1:23 am (Family, Life, Love, Motherhood, Parenthood)
Blinded from this world and its judgements.
Rules that bind me; oppression that withers my spirit, my force and will to persist. I contemplate the reasons that I exist and wonder what is my place. Where in this puzzle is there a hole shaped like me? A perfect fit where I will be secure and unmoveable to the world.
When will someone stop dumping me over, spilling and scattering me, strewn across the floor to be picked up by a child and put back together. Held together with a child’s glue, I am damaged, but my pieces are securely renewed.
Life begats life and I move on, persisting where once no will existed. I continue my journey steadily uphill upon this rough and ragged path. But, I have footprints behind me, pushing me forward to make something from the chaos I’m presented with.
To make me smile even when I’m falling
To make me laugh even though I’m crying
To give me hope that there is good in this world and a purpose for what we do
For my life, sanity and hope: My children, I thank you
January 29, 2009 at 9:34 pm (Death, Inspiration, Life, Loss, Love, Pain, Poetry, Rambling, Time)
Tags: alone, comfort, Death, Loss, Poetry
They say that time heals everything and everything once known can be forgotten. Yet, I can’t help but disagree. Time has not healed me in any way or made me forget the losses that I have suffered in this lifetime. Time does nothing to diminish the meaning and magnitude of events that leave you shaken to the core. No, time is not my answer…However much, I wish that it were.
Time may remind me that things are always changing and everything must end, but it does not help justify the why… Have we not all asked that question? Have we not sought the answer for centuries?
So, I turn to my words to release the things that are hurting me so horribly. I use these emotions as a tool, so that in some way I can say that these emotions have had a use, so that I can say that these experiences weren’t for naught. So that I can justify their occurance and effect.
And so to you, I bring, my heart and my soul:
I give you each tear, each cry, each pain.. to know as your own
I give to you my life, my fears, the uncertainties, the unknown
I speculate and hypothecate about things; far reaching they seem
I mumble and fumble, fot what I offer.. cannot bring
Then, miraculously I have a ryhme, that stops your heart and ceases time
I reach in to the well, that is your soul, and touch it with a comfort
– This pain is not yours alone
As if, for a moment, I joined you in that pain and helped you understand:
The screaming agony that wells inside, the torrent of emotions that you cannot hide,
The breath that escapes you and the walls that close in
The horrible feeling over and again, over and again
– They are not yours alone
And the nightmares and voices and most horrible things
The darkness and cold, the mal of intent
The soul sucking beings, leaving you spent
– You’re not alone
The endless loop of catastrophe, this roller coaster to hell
The worst possible imaginations behind a black veil
Torment and anger, wanting to lash out
To hurt oneself.. to punish and lament
– You don’t have to do that; don’t give in
Go find peace and comfort, in this one undeniable fact:
– You are not alone
January 7, 2008 at 3:30 am (Inspiration, Poetry, Rambling)
Tags: Poetry
The moonlight shines so desperately; on me now – I cannot see
Anything; the light, the rain. I feel nothing, I have no pain.
Yet, sleepily my disbelief comes crawling, climbing; over me.
Shrouding my sorrow, cast away with your light — Thinking of the morrow, when I can be with you again, if just for a night.
Time moves so fast, disbelief and disarray, tell me that it’s way to short. There’s not enough time in the day….
Not enough time in the day, not enough light to expose, the reason for love and how this life goes.
January 7, 2008 at 3:27 am (Inspiration, Poetry, Rambling)
In a spherical path, an oblique past… Destiny appears.
Lifes in a line, circle in time, an end to find.
Rounding of corners, crossing of borders, testing my order…
Fog and light, a kingly fight, who will win the race? Destiny’s blight, found in a knight, hurling towards the morning light.
One day closer, a part of the spherical completion, leading to earthly deletion.
January 7, 2008 at 3:25 am (Destiny, Inspiration, Poetry, relationships)
Everything I thought to be, all the things I no longer believed, mean nothing now that you found me. When my world was spinning and dark and I was all alone, you walked in with the light and comfort of home.
All of my doubts and disbeliefs no longer exist when you are with me.
You make me want to believe in all the things I came to deny. Reach out and touch me, give me that peace. Reach out and touch me, hold me.. be in me. As close as two can get, that’s what I want to be with you. All the things I’ve never shown, I want to show to you.
You make me want to take a chance, you make it worth the risk. You make me want to cry, laugh, and smile. You make me want to live.
January 7, 2008 at 3:19 am (Destiny, Inspiration, Poetry, relationships)
In your eyes I see a dream, an ocean of tides that push and pull at me; tempting me to understand what I see, tempted me in to belief.
Like lightning surges that bolt through me, with those eyes of make believe, I stumble to my destiny, fumbling clumsily.
Pushing forward with blind belief, taking a step, extending my reach; opening up, exposed and weak.
Weakened to the possibilities of love
October 8, 2007 at 9:00 pm (Inspiration, Life, Poetry, Rambling)
Forever Beaten, torn apart. These are the words that echo my heart. Drop down and kneel, make one last appeal. To myself, for what is real.
Late and elated, I never catch up with time. Forever beating this heart of mine. Can’t escape this rhythm, it’s everywhere and in my head. Can’t escape the rhythm until I’m lying dead.
Beating in misery, not in harmony. Everything in disarray, never forgetting the bad of the day. Cries to me, appeals to my heart. Things I can do nothing about, tearing me apart.
Unexplainable to the innocence that leads to this eminence, of bleeding wounds and gaping pain, still no way to explain.
Enigmatic in every move, stuck in this same ole groove…of inexplicable desolation…of absolute desperation….
I am
